Interpersonal Communication Skills

Introduction

The conflict has always been a part and parcel of human life. It can either be beneficial or detrimental depending on how one responds to it. Consequently, a large number of models and frameworks are developed to assist people with conflict management. The "Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument" (TKMI) is one such model which was developed to guide people in managing their conflicts (Kilmann, 2022). Recognizing one's own response to the conflict may aid in developing self-awareness, conflict-resolution abilities, and empathy for others. Because of these reasons, a TMKI questionnaire was attempted in the class and this report provides a reflection of the questionnaire outcomes to understand our position and how we can better manage the conflicting situation.

Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument" (TKMI)

The TKMI was created by Thomas & Kilmann as a thirty-question forced-choice test with each option viewed as neutral. These questions can be attempted online or with pen and paper. In my case, I chose the second option i.e. pen and paper-based questionnaire which was self-scored & the outcomes are also graphed by test takers. The following parts of the report are based on the outcome of the pen & paper-based TKMI questionnaire which is provided in the appendix section.

Top 2 Thomas-Kilmann conflict modes

Based on the notion that each person thinks differently, everyone manages conflict in their own unique ways. Accordingly, as opined by Rias & Asadzadeh, (2015) the Thomas-Kilmann model proposes five different modes of conflict management. This includes:

1. Competing
2. Accommodating
3. Avoiding
4. Collaborating
5. Compromising

Each of the five listed modes varies in two broader ways: level of cooperation and assertiveness level. In my case, the result indicates that “avoiding” and “Compromising” are the top two Thomas-Kilmann conflict modes with 9 and 7 points respectively. These two modes are further discussed below in their chronological order:

• Avoiding: I find myself to be closer to this mode because I always try to avoid getting into conflicts. More so, instead of taking any particular side, I like to stay neutral and refrain away from pursuing my own interest or the interest of anyone else who is involved in the conflict.
• Compromising: This mode shows that the person would first try to avoid conflict but would be very easy to identify a middle ground if it is unavoidable (Fujita, 2018). Likewise, I try to look at all the aspects of the conflict and anticipate multiple ideas to arrive at a solution even if it means sacrificing a bit from my side.

Views on TKMI results

I always believe that to be different and to have differences be it in opinions or anything else is quite natural and thereby conflict arising from such differences is also quite a part of our society and life. However, sometimes things can get ugly and there can be some serious conflict between different groups and people because of various obvious reasons. In those circumstances, I try to completely avoid any such conflict by taking any middle ground or even if it means taking a step back. This shows that I find myself to be completely aligned with TKMI results and the two modes discussed above. Because of this reason, I usually have a much lower level of assertiveness and I do not try to superimpose my views on others while handling conflicts. I rather, try to ensure that the concerns and voices of the other side should be heard, and then any middle ground is reached through mutual consent from the list of available choices.

Examples demonstrating the application of chosen conflicting modes

• It was a summer evening when I was with my friends at a local football club ground. The FIFA world cup was also going to happen in the same year and we all were discussing the chances of different teams and players. Somehow heated arguments started between two of my friends on the question of who is the best among Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo. Soon, their tome and language changed and they both were onto one another to prove their player best. This could have become a serious conflict so I intervened there and avoided it from becoming a serious conflict by stating that they two are equally capable and greats of the game and we are fortunate to witness both of them playing in the same period. In this way, I avoided the conflict situation.
• I was working on a group project with 3 other team members and it was just the beginning. So we gathered at a place to discuss ideas, select topics,s and plan for the project. Everyone had their own ideas and after preliminary analysis, we were left with 3 topics. There was one particular topic with which three of the team members were comfortable but the 4^th member was very inflexible and adamant about his choice and he wanted us to accept his choice. This gave rise to conflict between team members. In this situation, I enquired about the reasons why he is stressing much about that particular topic. Finally, after thoughtful consideration, I convinced other team members to accept his topic and we have him the responsibility to do all the planning and coordination work for the project and compromised with the situation for the sake of the team.

Other conflict modes that I would like to develop

Though avoiding and compromising are evident for me to deal with the conflicting situation in my day-to-day life. But, compromising at certain places put me in a disadvantageous position. Therefore, I would certainly like to learn the “collaborating” mode so that I can better approach the conflict and resolve the conflict by collaborating with concerned parties, conducting comprehensive discussions, and identifying solutions to address such issues (Hastings, Kavookjian & Ekong, 2019). In this way, learning this conflict mode will help me in protecting my position and prevent myself from making sacrifices or incurring personal losses without exploring other available choices.

Conclusion

This report provided a comprehensive evaluation of TKMI results to reflect on my personal characteristics of conflict management. Based on the result, this report finds avoiding and compromising as the two key conflict modes and further outlines collaborating as one desired conflict mode which I would like to learn in the coming days.

References

Fujita, K. (2018). Compromising Adjustment Strategy Based on TKI Conflict Mode for Multi‐Times

Bilateral Closed Negotiations. Computational Intelligence, 34(1), 85-103. DOI:

https://doi.org/10.1111/coin.12107

Hastings, T. J., Kavookjian, J., & Ekong, G. (2019). Associations among student conflict management

Style and attitudes toward empathy. Currents in Pharmacy Teaching and Learning, 11(1), 25-32. DOI: https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cptl.2018.09.019

Kilmann, R.H., (2022). Using the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument. Kilmann Diagnostics. Retrieved 20 July 2022, from https://kilmanndiagnostics.com/using-the-thomas-kilmann-conflict-mode-instrument

Riasi, A., & Asadzadeh, N. (2015). The relationship between principals’ reward power and their conflict management styles is based on Thomas–Kilmann conflict mode instrument. Management Science Letters, 5(6), 611-618. DOI: 10.5267/j.msl.2015.4.004

Appendix

TKMI Questionnaire