A person's private self is the knowledge they are reluctant to share publicly. The public self is how others see an individual in general information, interactions, and actions. The public defines the public self, but it is the individual's viewpoint on how they seem and behave in public. Speaking and activities show the public and private selves. Everyone dreads public and private speaking. Some folks hate public speaking. Because of this avoidance, they may lose valuable opportunities to promote their goods or themselves. The development of authentic speaking has helped people enhance their presenting skills and reduce their anxiety before and during their presentations. For example, it does not teach the individual any other methodology or skill, and it is learned by experience. Authentic speaking requires the speaker to pause and reflect before speaking. When the speaker opens their mouth, they should be calm, comfortable, and mentally alert. Preparation and mental awareness of the speaker's talk is crucial. To feel better and prepare for the work ahead, the person should acknowledge the "script" and rewrite it. This is because the task (conversation) greatly influences how the person feels. Confidence in a presentation is also created by physical posture. The presenter may stand tall and proud yet not hide from the audience.
People are afraid of public and private speaking because they are self-conscious. Self-consciousness is acute self-awareness. It is a preoccupation with oneself, realizing that an individual entity exists. When someone knows that others are looking at or monitoring them, they may feel uncomfortable. Self-consciousness is sometimes accompanied by paranoia or shyness. Self-consciousness makes one aware of one's actions, no matter how minor. Such awareness can impair one's ability to perform complex actions. A person may be shy or introverted if they are constantly self-conscious. Excessive attention to one's looks or attitude might be troublesome. Shyness and shame can result in low self-esteem and lack of pride. People come to the most objective understanding of themselves during periods of high self-consciousness, which may impact identity development. Self-consciousness affects people differently; some are self-absorbed or continuously self-monitoring, while others are completely unaware of their existence. Public self-consciousness is self-awareness originating from other people's perspectives, whereas private self-consciousness is self-examination. Both forms of self-consciousness are objective personality qualities that are highly stable throughout time. Public embarrassment might cause anxiety and self-monitoring. People respond differently if they "lose themselves in the crowd," naturally. This can lead to repressed and harmful behaviour.
People's self-disclosure inclinations differ. Self-disclosure is the act of revealing oneself to another. It covers whatever a person chooses to tell about themselves to others. It can include aspirations, feelings, thoughts, accomplishments, fears, failures, desires, objectives, and preferences. The social penetration hypothesis proposes two degrees of self-disclosure: breadth and depth. These dimensions are vital in developing an intimate relationship (Modell, 1993). The topics two people discuss are called breadth disclosure, while the level of personal information revealed is called depth disclosure. In a relationship, breadth disclosure is easier to express because it includes layers of personality and daily life, like preferences and occupations. It's difficult to reach depth disclosure because it contains painful memories and traits we keep hidden from most people. Intimacy is based on mutual and appropriate self-disclosure. And can evaluate the costs and benefits of self-disclosure. Most self-disclosure occurs early in relational development, but more intimate disclosure occurs later. Communication changes are related to relationship growth, according to social penetration theory. Relationships usually begin with cursory information sharing and progress to deeper interactions. If couples want to establish a more personal connection, they must broaden and deepen their communication. Conversations between teams frequently start with "small talk" that reveals little about the speaker. It gets more personal and intimate as the conversation gets deeper, and more personal facts are divulged until it gets quite emotional and couples share highly sensitive information.
Intimacy can only grow if both parties reciprocate disclosures. Intimacy cannot succeed if just one spouse discloses intimate facts while the other discloses superficial knowledge. Partners must match the closeness degree of the disclosures. Too early disclosure of personal information disrupts the connection and makes the other person uneasy. The progressive process varies depending on the communication partner. Reciprocity is a favourable response to knowledge exchange. The norm of reciprocity, social exchange theory, and the social attraction-trust hypothesis explains it. Reciprocal disclosure is a social norm, and not adhering to it makes a person uncomfortable. According to the social exchange hypothesis, people want to preserve equality in self-disclosure since an imbalance makes them uncomfortable. According to the social attraction-trust theory, people reveal themselves to others because they believe the other person loves and trusts them. Extended reciprocity and turn-taking reciprocity are two forms of reciprocity. Symbolic reciprocity is when couples disclose over time, whereas turn-taking reciprocity is when partners reveal immediately. Intimacy requires openness and response.
The topics covered by persons (breadth) differ among civilizations. The American culture, for example, tends to reveal more personal issues like relationships, body, finances, and other health and personality issues than different cultures. Not so with Japanese people. The Japanese are exceedingly private and cautious. The degree of personalness of the problems to be revealed also differs among cultures. Topics like feelings, thoughts, hobbies, and interests are also included. Some people avoid revealing their innermost feelings and thoughts in public because they fear seeming vulnerable or insecure. The issue to be revealed bad or good side differs across cultures. The disclosure of an actual life occurrence that caused harm to the speaker may assist them in illustrating their argument in a discussion. However, an opponent may not understand this and may use it to their advantage. People who expose more personal troubles than others have greater psychological disorders.
It takes time to build a connection and completely reveal to the other. People from more traditional cultures prefer to conceal information until they feel comfortable with others. In some cultures, showing too much personal information too early in the relationship is considered inappropriate. Many communities consider the target party to whom an individual discloses. For example, spouses trust each other and thus open up to each other—some believe the target's age and what topics to reveal.
Self-disclosure is important, but it can also be harmful, according to Alder and Proctor (2007). For example, self-disclosure can help build trust in a relationship. It can also increase one's influence over others and bring out a person's best qualities. Self-disclosure can reveal one's vulnerability and cause the other party to lose interest in the relationship, causing it to end.
Before deciding to self-disclose, one must weigh several factors. Information disclosure can sometimes be harmful. The discloser must assess the benefits versus the risks. Self-disclosure is most effective when utilized constructively and shared with a partner who reciprocates equally. It's also vital to divulge facts that might save or benefit someone.
Author: Michael Heine
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